Legacy. If there's ever anything I worry about the most, it's if I ever left my mark in this world. I never really thought of it consciously before, but since I began this somewhat moronic vacation leave with no apparent reason, I've been given time (too much time) to think about what I've done, what I'll be doing, what I might be doing, and what I did not do.
Then I got to thinking, if ever, for some reason, I drop dead this instant, even as I'm writing this blog, would people remember me? If they did, what would they remember me by? Did I do something worthwhile? Did I do something that would stand the test of time? Would I live in the hearts of those I touched? Or was there ever anyone whose lives I touched? If somehow I suddenly left this reality, would people be able to carry my spirit on? Would my legacy continue to shine? Or have I even left a legacy to begin with?
All these thoughts run through my head. And I have no answers for them. I'm nowhere near finding the answer. I'm coursing through this life one day at a time. One step at a time. One moment at a time. But is that enough? Is living in mediocrity enough? Is it enough to dream big? What meaning is there to dream a dream that is impossible to hold? What good does it do to dream and not be able to achieve it? Where is the happiness there?
All this confusion is bottled up inside of me. And I have nowhere to put it. I do know one thing. If I end up dying today, my life would seem like an empty shell. I haven't left my mark on anything. And I haven't done anything worth remembering.
So what do I do now? Even after coming to that conclusion, I find myself devoid of the answer.
No comments:
Post a Comment