In the Midst of My Confusion

Legacy. If there's ever anything I worry about the most, it's if I ever left my mark in this world. I never really thought of it consciously before, but since I began this somewhat moronic vacation leave with no apparent reason, I've been given time (too much time) to think about what I've done, what I'll be doing, what I might be doing, and what I did not do.

Then I got to thinking, if ever, for some reason, I drop dead this instant, even as I'm writing this blog, would people remember me? If they did, what would they remember me by? Did I do something worthwhile? Did I do something that would stand the test of time? Would I live in the hearts of those I touched? Or was there ever anyone whose lives I touched? If somehow I suddenly left this reality, would people be able to carry my spirit on? Would my legacy continue to shine? Or have I even left a legacy to begin with?

Roses and Dreams

There was a party. People dressed in all kinds of gowns, colors of different shades, sparkles everywhere. It was a mixture of my past and present friends, acquaintances and people I don't even recognize. Some of the faces I can see and recall, others I can only hope to make out of into a silhouette.

I was there, attending. And beside me, my boyfriend looking dashing in his suit.

Then an announcement, and all the world seems abuzz. I couldn't catch the announcement, I was too distracted to observe everyone, catch who were there and who weren't.