Life and Death

Let's face it. We see death all around us and we are either too scared we ignore it or too wound up we overemphasize it. Either way, it's not really living.

I'm not saying that I've lived a full life, because frankly, I'm not sure if I've lived it to the fullest, but looking back, I can say that, yes, I do have regrets (I mean, who doesn't right?), but generally, I'm quite happy with how my life has turned out and with how my past and present has shaped itself to be. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for the future to be the best that it can be. =D

Moving on, what I'm getting to in this blog is that, in my line of work, we see death more often than the average person that it becomes almost a "monotony" to a point. And it's the worst feeling one could ever have. Because who want's to feel numb with death facing you in the face? Nobody wants that. I'm pretty sure my patients and their families don't.

Quit Complaining

In the last month that I've lived here in New Zealand, I've noticed how much I have complained and got depressed about my situation. I keep saying things about being homesick, being lonely, feeling isolated, and generally just being unhappy. I have an insecure side I just can't seem to rectify. And then, one day, someone told me this: "You have got something others could only dream of having." And that got me thinking straight.

A year ago, I could only hope my application pushes through with little obstacles. I could only dream of being able to travel and experience these "greener pastures" everyone's been raving about. I, too, was complaining then. Of how unappreciated I was at my job and how unhappy I was with my place in life. And then, the good news came, and finally, after a lot of hard work, I got to be here. To be able to step forward and start realizing my dreams of the future.

Keep The Faith

I'm not very much of an optimist and since my last great effort to be one of the world's few positivist, I have since gone downhill from there. I realized, scrolling through my posts especially in my alternate blog Confessions of the Caged,that my blogs have been arbitrarily depressive. It's an "emo" blog so to speak and it's not very healthy, for me or the occasional passers-by. So to keep from going deeper into my melancholic subconscious, here's my last ditch attempt to keep the fire burning.

Let's all stay positive people! Nothing can be overcome with negativity. There's hope as long as we're alive. =)

The Grinning Fool (A Repost from I Wrote This For You)

Each night, somewhere out there, people go to bed petrified that I might be as happy as I am.

And I wake up each day and make their worst fears come true.

Immortal Beloved

In the spirit of Valentine's Month, here's Ludwig Van Beethoven's love letter to his anonymous "Immortal Beloved". (source here)

The entire letter is written on 10 small pages, in Beethoven's rather inconsistent handwriting. The first section occupies four pages. In the following, the dashes and underlined words are as in Beethoven's manuscript, crossed-out parts are enclosed in “<...>”.

The Guy: How To's

When your girlfriend stares at your mouth ,,kiss her gently..

when she pushes you or hit you cause she thinks she is stronger than you ,, Grab her in your arms and dont let her go.

when she start cursing you acting she is tuff,,,just grab her and kiss her and say her I Love You..

when she is quiet ,, ask her if everything alright.

when she ignores you ,,give her all your attention..

Happy Birthday Boyfriend 02-12-2012

Words are not enough to express how thankful I am to this one special person who helped make me a better person. And since this is his special day, I would like to take this opportunity to at least try to convey my gratefulness.

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something something

I've been playing with points and clicks and colors the past 2 days. I've stopped doing this for a while so I can't say they're the best out there but they're all I can offer at the moment. =)

Edited by: author

Through: Adobe Photoshop CS5

words.

DAY 251 11062011

Seriously, my mind's numb right about now. That word splashed on the screen pretty much took everything...every effort, every drop of sweat, tear, blood...just everything.

Why do you write?

A pen and a paper are powerful things. Probably one of the most powerful in the world. It can put a smile on the face of someone who just received ecstatic news, make the heart of a girl in love flutter, and can even make dreams come true. On the down side, it can provide the most heartbreaking news, make the happiest man alive cry tears of anguish, or crush your world. Whatever the case, things written down, are a testimony of a part of someone’s feelings. And the pen and paper are mediums for this testimony.

So why do people write despite the risks? What risks, you ask? A lot. The greatest of which is the risk of having a part of your inner self possibly exposed to the world, a world full of critics and disbelievers. Well, I don’t know the reason for anyone other than myself. Here’s mine.

it's all about our hearts

Hanging out with friends is always fun. But when we lack one person in the group, the moment, no matter how fun, will always feel like something's missing. So to bridge that gap, well, here's what we did... =)

Reina, we miss you lots. And although, we don't say it that often, we know you hear us, our voices, and our hearts shouting out to you that we miss you...across country borders, across oceans, across vast lands... We love you Rein..and for that, we made this special video so you know you'll always be with us, whenever, wherever. <3

We'll see you soon love.

xoxo

~hny~